She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
