Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
