i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
