Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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