I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
