:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
