Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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