literally had 100 drinks last night.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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