NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
