He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
