youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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