i barfeds in our rink
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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