i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Less talking, more tequila
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
