it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
even my farts smell like vagina
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
