dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
