the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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