I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
