apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
