My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
