She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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