this beer tastes like vomit already
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
