Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
