are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize