i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
