I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
