There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
