Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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