I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he wants to bone in the snuggie
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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