i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
