The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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