I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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