And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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