Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
