i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
