Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im drinking this country out of the recession.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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