i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
