We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
my poor anus
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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