I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
