The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
