Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
