I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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