What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
