..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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