does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
