the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
