Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
