The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
