So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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