Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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