No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
