We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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