marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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