I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
