we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
