I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
