Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
