$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
