Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I touched a dick in church today
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
