she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
