I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
