You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
